This archive Sunday post originally appeared on June 10, 2009. To see the original post and comments, go here.
Okay, we all know how discouraging it can be to be a thoughtful feminist in our church. This spring, I went through a couple of months where I really felt like I was on the tipping point of not being able to maintain my sanity and my membership simultaneously. My frustration with the church’s gender issues ebbs and flows, but usually, my thoughts are dominated with negativity. I notice constantly all the things that bother me - no women on the stand, male-gendered language, sickly sweet statements about women, etc. You all know what I’m talking about.
But a few weeks ago, I had an experience that made me really whip my thoughts around. I was interviewing with my bishop to renew my temple recommend. I’ve talked to him extensively in the past about my “angst”, and he is very loving and understanding. One of the questions in the interview normally reads, “Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow men?” My good, kind bishop gave me this question instead: “Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow men and women?” Wow! He was willing to step just a smidgen out of the handbook to demonstrate to me that he understood my concerns and considered them to be valid.
Those two little extra words, “and women”, meant the world to me. They made me think about all the positive experiences I have had, and of all the positive signs in the institution as a whole. For example, the temple ceremony, though incredibly troublesome for me, used to be even worse. And it changed in 1990! That’s less than 20 years ago!
So, as long-suffering feminists, what are your expectations for the future? What positive experiences have you had that show progress is coming? Do you think we’re all doing some good by sticking it out here?
And don’t you wish you had my bishop? 